My Last Words Were Ones Of Complete Honesty
by MusicIsLife11
Summary: She's had enough... Two men with pregnant wives who she loves... Leah wants out of this world.  What if she did die... Then Jacob said the words she'd been longing to hear for so long...'I love Leah Clearwater'.    Drabble.
1. Chapter 1

**From Leah's Point Of View.**

Gathered in the Cullen's - ugh, I know - lounge room, each pair of eyes were on Jacob and the devil's child- I mean, Renesmee. The Loch Ness Monster was giggling beside Jacob, looking perfect as usual. It had happened so many times, I didn't even notice to plummet of my heart. Seth sat beside me, knowing of my tiny dilemma and squeezed my hand. I was so grateful to have such an amazing brother who knew exactly what I was thinking. The horrible thing was, I was never good enough for Jacob. I tried so hard until I just gave up. I mean, I really tried.

I flirted, I wore short skirts and low cut tops, but he'd never seen interested. That may have been from the fear that if he looked, he'd get his head thrown off, but I mean, just a peek wouldn't have killed him. . . I turned around and leaned on Seth's shoulder, muttering words of disgrace.  
"We have an announcement!" The demon spawn giggled, seeming to have a hard time containing her excitement. I turned with a smidgen of hope she'd found out she was going to die tomorrow. I bet their blood sucking family would have found a cure for any type of disease; pneumonia, cancer, maybe even chicken pox? Ed- got an idiot pregnant and created a devil - ward gave me a sharp look that I took as a, 'keep thinking like that please!'  
I smiled, innocently. Believe it or not, I only got along with one Cullen - the quiet and southern accented Jasper had been quite a talker when you caught his interest. He was sort of nice, and I liked that he wasn't a full vegetarian - that he could still snap.

"Come on, Ness! Tell us!" Alice laughed from Jasper's lap, who was busy reading a no doubt western themed book. Another thing I liked about him - he didn't care about Renesmee at all. Well, he didn't mean it in such words - he just didn't really bother to listen when she spoke, or care when she did something anyone of them could do in their sleep.  
"Well, Jacob and I were planning on taking it slow," those were the very words that made tears fall from my cheeks and my heart break. Just those simple ten words made me ache inside. Appreciatively, Jasper's mood power helped me calm down quick enough not to run out of the room, but not strong enough to stop the tears that fell from my cheeks. I hadn't told Jasper about me, er, loving Jacob, but he'd guessed enough to know.  
From behind the devil's child, Jacob gave me a look that said, _what's wrong? _But more in a _shut up _sort of way.

Rensemee looked up at Jacob before smiling, broadly. "But something has made us speed it up a little bit." Oh god, she's not. She can't be. No, no,_no. _Jacob's face lit up and he pecked Nessie's forehead. Jasper leaned over and took my other hand. I smiled, sadly, putting my face to Seth's shoulder. Though Nessie was about three years old now, she appeared to be in young adulthood, and she'd already gone through puberty, so I guess it was possible afterall. Tears fell down my cheeks as she said the two most dreaded words any girl in love with the other girl's boyfriend could say.

"I'm pregnant." Gasps, laughter, sobs, smiles, sobs, questioning remarks, sobs.  
"Lee-Lee? Are you okay?" Ah, so those annoying sobs had been coming from me. Jacob's voice was close to my ear, which surprised me. I didn't dare look up at the eyes I knew were watching me.  
"She's just a little upset. Somebody died," Jasper-thankgodforthatman- told them. Lied. _Something _died. My heart.  
"Oh," Jacob's voice was surprised. What, did he expect me to tell him I wanted the demon spawn dead? I don't think so.  
"Nessie, I can't believe it! I'm going to be a god mother!" Rosalie giggled, excitedly, probably doing that little happy dance the blondes created.  
"Wait, _you? _The godmother? I think you mean me!" Alice argued, though she sounded as if she was smiling.

Seth pulled me up, covering my face as he pushed me out of the room. Jasper followed closely behind, carrying him book out with him.  
When we were finally outside, I let out the sob I'd been keeping in for too long.  
"Lee-Lee," Seth whispered, embracing me with a sympathetic look on his face.  
"She's not worth your tears, Lee," Jasper whispered, his topaz coloured eyes on the window where he was glaring at Edward, who always seemed to be peeking through the window.  
"It's over," I whispered, "it's not worth trying anymore." But I had to go on with my life. Jacob was taken, but I'd give it one last attempt. Maybe the spawn would have an abortion. One last go. . . But then what? I go kill myself? How? I bet a lot of people would have already tried - and failed.  
Jacob's face appeared at the door, as he broke in with the embraces and crying.  
"Hey, Leah." Jacob smiled, sadly, though you could see the happiness in his eyes. Oh god, I can't do that do him. . . I can't try and win him over. . . He's so happy - he's going to be a father. . . Jacob will be a good father. . .  
"Excuse me," I whispered, abruptly. I pecked Seth and Jasper on the cheeks - scrunching my nose of course at Jasper - and hugged Jacob. I needed that one hug before I did what I was about to do. He wrapped his long arms around me and kissed my hair. I just held him for as long as I could, memorizing his musky forest scent, before pulling away. I leaned up on my tippy toes and kissed him on his lips before going inside. A couple of gasps were audible from behind me. I smiled, sadly, tears building in my eyes as I walked up the stairs in the leech's house. Jasper and Alice's room, Emmett and Rosalie's room, Edward's old room, ah, Carlisle's study. I entered it and shut the door behind me. I'd never cry another tear for Jacob Black, I'd leave him to his life. He'd be happy. . . he had to be.

I was careful to hide my thoughts until I reached that room. I locked the door behind me as I walked up to the cabinet. I reached for a thin vial in the cabinet and smelt it. Immediately I recoiled against the scent; venom. But it was exactly what I needed. I opened the vial once again and lifted it to my lips. This was it; I was ready.

"_Leah!_" was just a quiet sound as I gulped the liquid in the vial. I finished it in two moments and let death take me, happily.

"Leah, Leah, Leah, no!" Seth's voice was barely audible as I collapsed to the floor. I just smiled to the darkness, reaching for it.

"Ohmygod, Jakie," the annoying voice of that. . . thing whispered.

"Leah," Jasper whispered, sadly, "I understand why you did it." He lowered his voice at his last words.

I smiled a bit broader at these, feeling the need to fall asleep.

"What do we do? How do we save her? What happened?" Renesmee seemed to be going into a fit.

"Just shut up," Seth growled. "We can't save her. She's already half dead."

"Seth," Jacob snapped at him.

"Shut up Jacob," I groaned through battering teeth. Apparently, my last words were going to be of annoyance. Jacob shut up.

"She did this because of you two anyway, so why don't you leave and let her die in peace?" Jasper growled at them. I was really thankful for that man. Good luck Alice.

"Wait, our fault?" Nessie whispered, eyes probably popping out of her head like a fish. Oh, couldn't something be her fault?

"Yes, _you're _fault, mainly yours anyway," Jasper growled.

"W-w-what did I do?" Renesmee whispered; but she knew. God, she knew. She'd been one of the first people to know. She saw how I stared at him, how my heart broke whenever she touched him.

"She loved him. You knew it," Jasper growled at her. God, I could kiss him. Second thought, no, I couldn't. I open my eyes one last time and met Renesmee's stupid brown eyes. They'd always annoyed me, that she'd inherited the one thing I'd actually liked about Bella. Those chocolate brown eyes, instead of the dull extremely dark eyes I'd received. Rip off, much? The look I gave her was two emotions mixed into one; hatred, loathing and awe. She'd won; she'd finally gotten rid of me. There _might _have been some accusing looks in there was well, but I decided to ignore that particular emotion. There was no use in trying anymore.

The devil's spawn was good at pretending she didn't notice. "I didn't know anything." I let my eyes wonder to the one face I wanted to see before dying - Jacob Freaking Black. His face was confused and odd but their were big, fat tears running down his cheeks. I tried to take this in, but I couldn't. Sobs broke from my chest as the pain took over again, but I wasn't crying because of that. I was actually surprised the pain hadn't begun sooner. I wanted it to be over.

"I know what you feel. Anywhere Leah's near Jacob, you become a protective little brat." Jasper cried out, angrily. He was obviously going to miss me, and that made me smile for half a second.

"What are you guys talking about?" Jacob demanded. God, he was _clueless. _I wanted this to be over; I just wanted to hurry up and die. I wanted my Dad. . . Daddy, I'm coming. . . Seth squeezed my hand, right on cue.

"Leah was in love with you, you freaking idiot," Seth snapped, angrily. Tears fell from his cheeks. I reached over to wipe one of them through my excruciating pain. I tried to think of ways to compare it to - drowning? Burning, definitely. It was like being so thirsty you were dying. My throat was definitely dry, and I found it very hard to breathe right now. I don't think I can move my body at all actually.

"W-wait, _what? _Leah wasn't in love with me. I'd know. I loved he-" Jacob froze, eyes wide as he blurted out the words. I sobbed, softly. He'd loved me. That was all I'd needed in life, but I got it at death. My life was doomed to begin with.

"What?" Renesmee whispered, looking down at her stomach, that wasn't even round yet. Apparently that was going to be her next motive for persuading Jacob into doing everything she wanted - even if it meant death.

"I'm in love with Leah Clearwater." Jacob finally said after a long moment. "I always have been. . . But I never thought that she'd be. . ." Jacob's voice trailed off and more tears fell down his cheeks.

"But, Jake. . . you had _sex _with me! I'm _pregnant." _Renesmee was like one of those lost little dogs, playing with all the wrong things. Jacob's face became cold.

"I knew Leah wasn't interested." Jacob's gorgeous eyes met mine and I felt my lips tremble as the pain subsided. Why had I chosen to drink the venom. . . Darkness fell between my eyes and I couldn't help but let my head fall back into Seth's knees, as he'd kneeled behind me.

"So this. . . _I _was just a second choice for you? You're _mine _Jacob! You imprinted on _me, _but you love _her?" _The way Renesmee said that. . . Like loving 'her' or me, was a bad thing. . . That's why I was crying. It was Sam all over again. Jacob, I love you. . . I wanted to say it, but my voice box had gone. I was dying, finally, but now. . . I didn't want to.

"Leah was always the one," Jacob whispered, letting his head drop, then his whole body drop beside me. He took my hand, tears rolling down his face.

"Jacob! You're mine! Get over her! She's practically dead! And I'm having you're freaking baby!" Renesmee shouted, clutching her stomach. Jacob shot his head around, his eyes furious and. . . deadly. He stood up and walked up to her, towering over her.

"Don't speak about Leah that way. If you're going to use you're pregnancy against me, get a freaking abortion!" that's exactly what Jacob said. My eyes snapped open and I stared at him for one last moment. The pain had exceeded and blackness was filling me.

"I love you, Jake, , ," my last words were ones of complete honesty. _I love you Jacob Black. _Just before death, something bit into my neck.

My eyes snapped open.

**A/N: I didn't quite like the ending. I kept switching ideas. . . At first, this was the original idea, then I thought maybe she would hear something about how Jacob loved Nessie or something and Leah would reach for another vial. . . THEN I thought Leah should be saved. . . So yeah. Major cliff hanger. Won't be many chapters. Just drabble. Please R/R.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This was originally a one shot. . . But since people have liked it, maybe I'll turn it into a story? I don't know, I'd quite like to continue this. (: R/R!**

**From Leah's Point Of View.**

I was dying - no I was experiencing death all over again. The pain! It was like being stabbed. I could mainly feel it in my throat - something was burning my throat. Then it disappeared. I could feel the lessening of my blood - like it was pouring out of me somehow. My frequent screams had quietened enough that I could bare to look beside me at the source of the pain. Jasper - looking exausted and nose scrunched like he was smelling a surage. He was sucking my blood, I realized, sucking the venom away. The pain! It was like withstanding a tornado, like being stabbed in the heart, like you're heart breaking. . .

_Daddy, _I wanted to sob, _just make it stop please. . . _A figure of her father filled her mind, and she couldn't stop the tears falling from my eyes.  
Harry's figure wrapped his arms around her in her sort of 'vision' and he held her against him, smiling.  
_'Lee-Lee, princess, it's not you're time to go.' _Harry's voice was tragically familiar, and made my chest heave in response.  
'_Daddy, don't leave me! I don't want the pain,' _I sobbed out, clinging to the man before me.  
_'Lee-Lee, there's someone who needs you out there. Go to him.' _Harry pulled apart and pecked my forehead before I came back to the real world. I felt like Raven, like I'd experienced something of the future, but I felt hideously injured. I felt Jasper's teeth sink deeper into my neck, and suddenly I stopped breathing. He wasn't going to stop - Jasper may have liked me, cared for me even, but Jasper was still a vampire, and rather new to the whole vegetarian thing.

He wasn't going to stop, I realized, and I have no way of doing anything. I'm too weak. . .  
It was funny that only one person in the entire room bothered to stop him. Seth might've if he wasn't supporting my weight, but he trusted the vampires. . . Carlisle and Esme weren't there, and no doubt Alice, Bel-should have drowned when she jumped off a cliff -la and Edweird were just watching with curious eyes as Jasper sucked the life out of me. No comment from Edweird on these thoughts.

"Stop!" Jacob's voice bellowed. The teeth suddenly left, and Jacob's body thrashed against Jasper's. I watched, wide eyed, and pained as Jasper's body shook, vibrantly as he collided with the wall. Jasper looked hungry - but his topaz eyes met mine and he gaped at himself, obviously ashamed. Had he killed me? Was all the venom gone? I wasn't sure. I shot him an -it's okay- look and smiled, weakly. Jacob was haunched over beside me, tears falling from his eyes. He met my eyes and just like that, just like that, Renesmee screamed. She just screamed her head off - the little brat was ruining my death here! - but the best part was, Jacob's eyes never left mine. Even Jasper and Seth had turned to stare at Renesmee but the one person who mattered to me didn't. The shrill screams didn't end as Jacob leaned down to kiss me.

It was sweet and soft, like many kisses I'd imagined, and I didn't have the energy or the patience to wait for him to deepen it. I demanded way into his mouth, and willingly, he allowed it. His tongue curled around mine, and his eyes closed. My own tongue was dancing with his - dancing, was exactly how you'd describe it.

"Jacob! Your imprint - my daughter - is screaming her head off because of you! And she's pregnant, and you're just going to sit there, making out with a dead girl?" Belwitch cried. I stiffened beneath Jacob's embrace.

"Shut up, bitch," Jacob growled between the kiss. I was surprised he found a way to speak through our twisted tongues.

"Stop! Just _stop!" _Renesmee's voice screeched. We didn't, and that was the best part about Jacob. He knew when to say no. With a painful movement, I nestled my hand through Jacob's hair and leaned in, suddenly aware the pain was easing and subsiding. . . The thought of suicide was just a distant thought in the back of my mind. I broke apart from the kiss to breathe. A pant almost, I guess. I wanted more of Jacob. I liked the way he tasted, but before I could even take my hand away from his neck. . .

I collapsed into darkness. In a distance I heard, '_Jakey, can you get me a cool drink please?' _That girl just didn't know when to stop, did she?

**A/N: I love giving you guys hang cliffs. Aren't I amazing? (x Haha, enjoy! And review please! Sorry its short by the way! I just didn't want to give away too much.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: The last chapter to Leah's life. :'( She was going to live; honest. But I was listening to Jacob's Theme, and this came instantly. I hope you all enjoyed it, and cried as hard as I did. If you love me though, you will listen to that song while reading. It goes perfectly with it. If I decide to elaborate on this story, maybe make it a bit different, I'll do so in another story. Good bye lovely reviewers. xx**

**From Leah's Point Of View.**

**Song: Jacob's Theme - Howard Shore. Listen to it while you're reading, I hope you'll become as lost in it as I did;absolutely amazing. xx**

Death was sweet, with no darkness and no light, but enough of both to be calm. I saw my Dad in a distance, but he was becoming fainter and fainter, his face masked with sadness.

"Daddy!" I screamed as he disappeared. It was a waste of my voice, for he was no longer there.

_"Leah_," that voice whispered in my ear. I could hear it in a distant, even farther away than Harry had been. _"Come back to me."_

Jacob. God, Jacob, I want to come home. . . I can feel my body being shaken, moisture on my arm. I can feel Jacob's tears, I can hear his cries. I want to tell him I love him; that I'll never leave him alone. But death parts all, and in their triumph, separates even the best of people. I can hear Jacob's shrieks as my heart stops beating. I can hear him calling my name. Death may part us now, but I'll always remember him. I don't think anybody could forget such a creature; it's absolutely impossible. I hope he finds someone better than Renesmee. He deserves someone special, someone that can give him what he needs. I know I can't give him anything now; now that death is so close, I can give him nothing. Yes, death may part us, but in my heart, I'll be with him forever. In a distance, Harry comes closer, and Jacob farther. I don't want to let him go; I try to grasp anything to hold back death, but Jasper lost control. I don't blame him; I wanted death. It was sweet in a way. There was no Sam, no Emily, no sadness, no depression.

I was glad to be away from that home. I was leaving everyone I loved and joining someone who had never judged me; never let me cry alone. As Jacob became a distant voice, Daddy came closer. He held my tight as I sobbed out Jacob's name. I felt ice down my spine and fire in my throat. I felt the stopping of my heart, and the distant cry of Seth. I'd miss them all, maybe even some of the Cullen's. I wanted to tell them I was sorry for being a bitch before death; I wanted to apologise and wish them well. I wanted to love them like Seth did; I wanted to be a good person. Death didn't come easy, but as it did, I let out one sentence in the real world, that not one person could have forgotten.

"_I'll always love you Jacob Black._" And then I died. Peaceful as it may be, I'd left a black hole in their lives, and that black hole consumed me, and I was just another faded picture now. Jacob's face stayed close to my unbeating heart as I drifted away with my father, forgetting everything else.

I love him; I always will.

Good bye Jacob.

**A/N: Tears, love and reviews.**


	4. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Author's Note:**

**Hi guys! My NEW and IMPROVED version of this [yes, there's a different ending...] is finally up! Only one chapter so far, but pretty amazing if I may say so myself. (: Faithful reviewers, your lovely time would be much appreciated.**

**xx**

**Masquerade.**


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